


Is That All I Am To You?

by KilljoyNephilim



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019), The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band Book - Mötley Crüe & Neil Strauss
Genre: Angst, Best friends actually, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Nikki and Tommy are SOFT for each other okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilljoyNephilim/pseuds/KilljoyNephilim
Summary: Tommy says something that he thinks is harmlessNikki reads into it too deeply
Relationships: Tommy Lee/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Is That All I Am To You?

Tommy whimpered, trying as much as he could to hold back his tears as he watched Nikki storm off. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong! Fuck, he didn’t know what anyone had done wrong! He bit his lower lip, sinking down into the chair he was in and hiding his face from Vince and Mick. He didn’t have the energy for that right now.

Nikki’s temper was something they all knew well – while it hadn’t surfaced to this extent in years, they all knew it was only a matter of time before it did. Either way, it always hurt when it was directed at _Tommy_ …

Choking back tears, he wracked his brain for what he could possibly have done to piss Nikki off. He drew a blank, just getting up to find his best friend before things got worse. He mustered up whatever strength he had and let his hair fall on his face to cover his eyes, following the sounds of Nikki’s footsteps. He cringed as he heard Nikki slam his bedroom door shut, trying to stay silent and stay outside as he just heard him mumbling a string of profanities. No doubt they were directed at Tommy.

“Useless piece of shit, can’t keep your mouth shut for _one_ –“ There was a loud kicking sound, and the sound of wood clattering to the floor, “Fucking second! You can’t think for a minute before talking!”

He bit his lip, feeling himself start to hyperventilate as he slid down the wall. _Nikki was mad at him. Not the usual passive-aggressive mad that Tommy could deal with and joke about with him but actually_ mad _mad._

The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. He’d fucked up – except he didn’t know how he fucked up. Or what got Nikki mad… He wracked his brain, trying to remember what they were talking about.

_“Yeah, I hate that people say ‘work friends’ and ‘real friends.” Tommy was frowning a bit. “I mean, I made some of my best friends through the band. That’s why I call my friends Motley and Non-Motley friends,” He joked._

_Nikki shot him a hurt look._

_“What’s going on, Sixxy?” He asked, leaning against a very irritated Mick (Oh, so Tommy’s “hair” got in his “mouth” and it was “unsanitary”. Boo hooooooooo.)_

_Nikki got up from the chair he was in, practically flinging it to the ground, flipping him the bird, and walking away._

Tommy snapped out of it, wincing again as he heard Nikki choke back a scream and slide down the door. Nikki’s breathing was erratic – and Tommy could have sworn he heard a sob. He couldn’t open the door, not yet, but he listened to what Nikki was mumbling.

“I thought I meant more to you…” He heard him say, “But sure. I guess I’m just Motley or Non-Motley to you.”

_Oh._ Shit, that’s not what he meant at all! Tommy frantically knocked on his door. “Nikki! Nikki, please open the door, man, please? Just one minute, I swear.”

“Fuck off!”

“Nikki please!”

“Go to hell, Tommy!”

“But – “

“You asked, I said no. Now leave.” Nikki’s voice was dangerously low. Tommy could feel the hair on the back of his neck rising, and he bit his lower lip, getting up and starting to walk away.

He stopped just before the end of the hall, sighing and getting down on all fours, crawling back to Nikki’s door. He couldn’t leave his friend like this – and crawling was quieter than walking. He blinked vigorously, trying to get his tears to dry up as he crawled back to Nikki’s door, sitting right next to it and leaning against the wall. It took him all his strength to not burst into that room, throw his arms around Nikki, hold him close, and apologize for whatever it was that he’d done wrong.

Every sob Nikki let out chipped away at Tommy’s strength; he couldn’t stand there and do _nothing_. His mum used to always tell him ‘The best thing you can do is the right thing, the second best is the wrong thing. The worst is standing there and doing nothing,’ – but he wasn’t sure that applied here.

He heard Nikki mumble something, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

Fuck it.

He got up, pushing Nikki’s door open.

Nikki was crouched down on the ground. Tommy sat next to him, earning little more than his second death glare of the day. He kept away from him for a few seconds.

“Nikki, I was –“

“Save it, I should have known I wouldn’t be as important to you as I thought I was. I was stupid to think that I actually meant something to someone.”

Tommy froze. “Sixx, I never said that.”

“You implied it! You implied it just _now_ when we were talking! Motley or Non-Motley – that’s all anyone you’ve met after joining the band is? And since Motley is work for you, I know you’re just trying to spare my feelings! What happened to every time you told me I’m your best friend in the world? Every time you made me feel like I meant something to you? Hm?”

“Nikki!” Tommy yelled, grabbing his tear-streaked face I his hands. “You _are_ my best friend in the fucking world! You’re the one I trust most! Hell, you’re the one I’m happiest around!”

“Stop backtracking! And stop lying – you don’t look so fucking happy – “

“I said Motley and Non-Motley because of you! You’re why I don’t say band friend and real friend! You’re the most real friend I’ve ever had, Nikki, it took me weeks to come up with this system! Because I love you, man. You _are_ my best friend in the world! That’s what I was trying to tell you in the first place! “

Nikki was frozen, just processing everything Tommy had just said. His eyes widened, and he grabbed onto Tommy’s wrists.

“W-What?”

“You heard me! I love you, man, and you’re my best friend in the world.” Towards the end, Tommy noticed Nikki’s expression, lowering his voice and softening the tone. He let go of Nikki’s face, holding his shoulders instead and lying down, pulling his Terror Twin on top of him. He immediately felt Nikki relax in his arms, hiding his face in his chest and letting a few more tears fall.

“I love you too, Tommy,” He mumbled, voice practically muffled against his chest.

A smile spread across Tommy’s face. He tightened the hug, slowly stroking Nikki’s hair and holding him tightly against his chest. “Nikki, I’m never going to stop caring about you. You’re my best friend in the world, nothing will ever change that. I promise.”

He felt Nikki’s hands sneak around him – he smiled more, feeling him grip onto his shirt as they lay there, barely moving, on the floor, just relishing the time they have together, in each other’s arms, the place they were both at their happiest.


End file.
